Dove Chocolate Challenge Day # 37 "Be forever the optimist and dream big." Cynthia / Rancho Palos Verdes, CA

Bummer! I was really looking forward to blogging today but I lost my wrapper! I had a great story to tell you guys, but I guess that one will have to wait for another day. Today's quote is pretty good too. :)

Hey guys!

Hope you guys have been having a great day!

I don't really know what I did today except work and the usual. Went to work, payed my daily visit to Barnes and Noble (best place to do homework, in my opinion anyway, it is very peaceful and there are no distracting responsibilites waiting to be attended to, i.e; laundry, dishes, phone calls, and so on) and read through the assigned reading of the Kreutzer Sonata. It is quite interesting. It takes me awhile to read things through in the class because I have to disect things bit by bit and I'm a slow reader. Well..today was just a normal day.

But was it? ...Was it really normal? I think it was better than normal and was absolutely one of my favorite days in awhile, I think it was because of a great revelation that I had. :)
You see, after I was done working at the front desk and Tayler had come in to take over for the next shift, I took Brian to class (we share one car right now) and on my way to do homework at Barnes and Noble, I had realized that I had forgotten my reading material at work. So, I rushed back to work. When I got there, I just fell in love with the atmosphere of Joel's Place (youth center) all over again. It is so alive there. Joel's Place has become my family, the kids at Joel's Place and the staff and leadership. I just love being there. It doesn't feel like work most of the time (haha...but trust me, there are moments...). I just feel like I get to be in the presence of wonderful people, and even though I know that these kids are growing up, graduating high school, leaving for college or whatever they are doing, that event though this moment that I am in is only temperary I am still in the presence of wonderful people, and really, all that matters is that in this moment, we are able to share life together. As you can tell, I am not a fan of change, but as the saying goes "change is the only constant in life." And I just think, what an oxymoron! Yet it is truth. Sometimes, I'm not a fan of the truth either, but I need to accept it. :)

When I came to grab my homework at Joel's Place, I originally planned to make it snappy by just zipping in to grab my homework and zipping out..but needless to say, that did not happen. I ended up staying at Joel's Place for a little more than half an hour. Joel's Place serves dinner at 6pm-8pm everyday (we're back on our fall schedule so dinner is back up at six again). And I came back right in time for dinner. I actually ate dinner before I left to drop Brian off, but when I came back I had already worked up an appetite so I grabbed a bunch of snacks thinking that I would jet as soon as I grabbed them, and that's how I got stuck.

I simply could not leave, it was just so much fun! Most of the kids were sitting in the cafe, eating dinner, picking out a movie to watch, and were just chatting it up. Conversation were happening all over the place. And then our conversations collided into one huge one as we were pranking each other and joking with each other. It was just so light hearted an fun, and I loved the diversity of each single kid and the unity that we all had today. Joel's Place is a really special place, young people from all over town, all walks of life, different beliefs, different likes and dislikes, are just able to gather together and unite. I really love the diversity and the unity coexhisting together the way that it does there. I've been working at Joel's Place for 2 years, going on 3, and I am just amazed at the relationships that I've had the honor and priviledge to develop with everyone around me. I feel blessed. This reminds me of the Fairbanks Fair this August, every year Joel's Place sets up a booth at the Fairbanks Fair and is available to the community to answer questions and just be there for the kids. As I sat in at the fair, I hadn't realized how much of the community I actual know, and how many people I know by name. You don't realize how many people pass through the door of one youth center until you have a community gathering like that. I realize that I have gotten to know quite a few people over these past 2 1/2 years. And not just as aquaintences, but people that I've had many fond conversations with, friends, that have not become my family. Although I haven't seen a few of them in awhile, it was refreshing to see them at the Fair this year. One thing you gotta know is that people hibernate in Alaska all winter long, especially in Fairbanks. Fairbanks is known as the most extreme city in the world temperature wise. We can hit up to the high 80s even 90s in the Summer, and drop to as low as -40,-50, and -60, in the Winters. Now that, dear ladies and gents, is what I call extreme weather. (We have to endure a 100* degree temperature change! How crazy is that?!?). The Summers mostly stay around a high of 75* and the winters usually stay a steady stream of -30 ...but still...that is just crazy how much of a change that really is now that I come to think of it. Wow. lol. So yeah, back to my point, us Fairbanksans hibernate for so long of the year, since winter goes for 6 months straight, that once summer hits, there is not a single soul found in doors. (Joel's Place is suuuuper slow in the summer, all the kids are outside chillen). Fairbanks is hopin' in the summer, there are a plethora of outdoorsy adventures that are held each summer. It's quite fun actually, so by the time the fair rolls around (which symbolizes that summer is ending very soon and fall is right around the corner, fall = snow). everybody and their mom comes out to the fair. And this is the last time you'll see the community gather as a whole. So we like to say that it is our last chance to see everybody before the hit the hibernation period. :)

Well, it was just absolutely heartwarming for me to work at the Joel's Place booth at the fair, because for the first time, I really realized the impact that Joel's Place has on the Fairbanks community, and I realized that I have made more friends, more family, had experienced more precious moments, had impacted more people than I thought, and have had more people influence and impact me than I could have ever dreamed or imagined. I knew that I was loved, and it makes my heart happy because I know that I loved back. The moment this realization happened is when kids from all over the community would stop by and hang out with us at the Joel's Place booth, when kids would be walking by, and then suddenly scream my name and run to give me a great big bear hug, when the same kids would come back and later ask for me when my shift was over. (That happened today by the way, when I came back to Joel's Place to grab my homework, my supervisor Emma, had told me that a couplf of the kids saw me leaving in my jeep and said, "where's she going?" And upon reply that I was done for the day, they replied with a big, "aww man." And that had made my day too!). But yeah, seeing the young people and their parents drop by the booth, address me by name (I thought many of them had forgot about me long ago, but I guess they didn't, how cool is that?) and having their parents let us know how much impact Joel's Place has had in their families and that they hold us in a high place in their hearts has made me really thankful, more than thankful, for every opportunity that I have had so far. And really, it is not me who has had the influence on them, but they on me.

So, as I was sitting in the cafe today, laughing with all of the regulars, I really just wanted to stay and hang out, eat with them, talk with them, and watch the movie with them. In the whole entire world, I just wanted to be with them, at that moment. And as all moments have to end, and each kid has to grow up, I know that each kid will always have a place in my heart. I feel like a mom now, lol, even though I don't have any kids of my own. I am proud of all of them, I know that they have endured through a lot these over the years, and I am thankful to have them in my life.

So, I just had one of those, "I'll never forget this moment, moments today." And then I had to leave Joel's Place and go to Barnes and Noble to do my homework. I did think about staying and doing my homework at the Joel's Place cafe, but I knew I wouldn't get anything done if I would have done that.

Well, that was the bulk of my blog. I am an optimist, sometimes though, I fall down hard, get depressed, and need others to be the optimist for me and to me, but today, I was an optimist, and I guess my dream is to see every kid in that room today succeed in life, graduate high school, find a good job, be well fed, be safe, become a volunteer in their community, stay out of jail, stay out of drugs, and live a fulfilling and meaningful life. And most importantly, I want them to live. I know some deal with suicide, and my thing is that I don't care how messed up you are, as long as you're alive, I'm okay. We can fix being messed up, but we can't fix dead. And my passion and desire is too see these kids remain alive, truly live, and be awakened to the world, to love, to compassion, to healthy relationships, and to be themselves.

Well,

I better get to bed,


And I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings, I can't wait for tomorrow's laughs, conversations, joys, silliness, sorrows, hardships, stresses, success, and mystery.

Tomorrow is full of possiblities, don't you think?


I'm peacin' out now,

Good night guys,

-Your Fellow Chocolatier


P.S., Are you looking forward to tomorrow? I am learning to live in the moment, because yesterday has gone, but tomorrow has not yet come, but I am learning to be excited about the prospect of tomorrow. I love the unknown and the adventure that comes with it. But I am certainly learning to just live for today. Cause that's all I have. :)

P.S., here is a video of Joel's Place, enjoy! (Man, I wish I had a Joel's Place when I was a kid!)  :)

Dove Chocolate Challenge Day # 36 "Lose yourself in a great read." Wendy / Seattle, WA

Hey guys! Today has been a pretty splendid day! (But a tiering one at that).

Wow! I'm shocked because I had quite a few views today! I checked the source and it came from Dove Chocolate's Twitter site. They gave me a shout out and posted a link to my blog! Too cool! (That's probably why I have so many views, lol). You know, now I'm sitting here uploading pictures and taking pictures of all of my dove chocolate wrappers that I haven't put a picture of the day up for. Thanks to you guys, I am definitely encouraged not to keep putting that off..lol. My husband even started helping me take some photos. (I'm only behind about a week, but nevertheless I am still behind). So yeah, I'm definitely encouraged. Gotsta get my act together ya know? lol.

So, today's quote has definitely reigned true in my life this very day. That's for sure...lol. I will explain in just a second. Oh man, I am so tierd, I'm trying to figure out a new schedule because the one I'm currently in is not working too great, I end up sabotaging myself and am not getting enough sleep. I would love to be a coffee drinker, but I'm not too much into coffee, and caffenated tea puts me to sleep. Is that weird? I think it's weird. I always thought I was strange when it comes to this. Give me some super black tea and I'll be out before you know it. I have no clue why this happens to me, specifically. That's not normal, needless to say.

Anyway, back to today's quote...as you may know, I'm taking the Russian Literature class and right now we are studying Tolstoy's work. I am kind of a painfully slow reader. Mind you, I can read fast..but if I do..I won't remember squat. But really, I can't read that fast. I guess the correct term would be average. I used to be better, but let's not go there, lol. (Means my brain is dissipitating...I'm only kidding).   :)

Well, I was sick the week before last and so I ended up missing all of my classes (the whole two sum of them). And off course, as always, I end up falling behind. I tried to read while I was sick..but...I just couldn't. It was like trying to eat one piece of corn off the corn nob at a time..just pain stakingly slow, and not happenin'. And then off course I found the great joy of Barnes and Noble last week, (what a great place to study!) such a peaceful place, althought I must admit I fall asleep everything I sit down, only because it is so peaceful. That's all. :) The other day I was highlighting parts of the story, which was Dostoevsky's Notes from the Underground. And as I was highlighting the words I kept nodding off. My eyes seemed to be awake but my brain was in la-la land, I had no clue as to what I was highlighting, but I tell you what, I was certainly highlighting, and quite a bit I did. lol. Wouldn't it be embarrasing if somebody fell asleep and sleep walked in Barnes in Noble? I don't think I've ever sleep walked, but isn't that the whole point? I wouldn't know if I ever have or not because it's just that? Sleep walking! :) Anyway...I am so random sometimes...back to the story. While I was at Barnes and Noble I promised to read my homework assignment, to get caught up in class, but the other books fluttered before my eyes, they looked more scrumptious, and they tempted me. And needless to say, I gave in following the film ile like a sheep ready for slaughter. Let's just say I definitely did not do my homework that night as I had planned. Not at all. And if you don't know, I am the type of person that reads particularly slow, but I read in great detail. It might take me longer to get through something, but I will remember every detail of it. And I did. I ceretainly did. Oh boy...lol. My poor teacher. Since I was absent, she gave me some leigh way in writing a 2 page summary for the book reading and my missed discussion in class. And so, I was so keen on making it to class this morning that I read for 3 hours last night and 4 hours straight this morning. I woke up extra early (9:45 am...in reality that is considered late) to read and finish my summary. You see, this morning I was very set on coming to class. I did not want to miss another class (you know we only get 3 absent days in a semester, and then they start droppin' letter grades...so it was a no-can-do, cause I need those days when something important comes up, ya know what I mean?). But anyway..I did finish my book and my summary, but I ended up missing class...again... because I was in the middle of finishing my summary when class started (which took me an hour 1/2 to finish..ridicuolous!) But again..I have a point in saying all of this. Believe me. So, I really didn't want to show up to class not having finished my summary 2 days in a row (I have an extension from last week's extension..yeah, I know, I know), and on top of that, I didn't read the last four chapters of the current book that we were reading, Tolstoy's Family Happiness, which is an excellent book by the way (so far as I've read anyway). I kind of gave up reading Family Happiness because I'm currently broke right now and I can't even afford a book. Yeah, I know (and I'm in no way complaining, so don't take it that way). And the only way I was able to read even a part of it was through a downloadable internet e-book version of it, which I only downloaded half the book and not the whole book...or so I thought. So yesterday at around 9pm, Brian and I decided to buy the whole entire e-book of Family Happiness online hoping that I could just print the rest of it out, when we bought the e-book, we were able to print it, but only the first 25 pages, which really stunk! I mean, seriously? I bought the book and you won't let me print the pages except the first 25? Come on now guys! But as I scrolled down to find out what page the book ended at to see how much I have left to read (e-books can be so complicated sometimes), I happened to catch the ending of the book, as I read it, I realized that I did have the entire book afterall with the free version that I had printed. How did I know you may ask? Because the ending were the same! So..I pretty much just wasted 10 dollars on a book that I already had. Lame. But ah, such is life. Right? Agreed. The free e-book that I printed said only "5 chapters," while the actual book has 9 chapters, and the sections are divided differently, but the entire free e-book was there, it was just formated differently, go figure. So to all who are wondering, if you happen to be a broke college student, or not, and you want to get your hands on some free books, please visit http://www.manybooks.net/ and go at it! :) Just don't get confused like I did. ;)

Well..I know I know, I'm about finished. I promise. I skipped today's class because I thought it would be absolutely useless to attend it if I only just sat there and listened, not being able to contribute to the book discussion (which is a huge bulk of class, unless we read some exerpts from the books), and I kinda felt embarrased to let everybody know again that I didn't do my homework. (It's a class of only 5 people, so they know when you have or haven't, it shows). lol..so I just skipped (bad example, don't learn from me). Sorry..I am a bit distracted right now, I caught myself starring at my withering baby palm tree in the corner, it needs some water, or a lot of it, it looks rather sad. That is why, dear ladies and gents, I don't own a gold fish. Case dismissed. Anyway..I'll be back...I really need to water that poor thing....

Okay. Back. (This isn't like I'm instant messaging, lol, I don't know why I even blogged that). So yeah, skipped class and finished my summary, and e-mailed it to my teacher. I certainly was apologizing for it being a week late. And the worst part is that my summary, which was only supposed to be 2 pages, was 9 pages long...my poor teacher. She e-mailed me back saying that she would take a look at my summary and asked me politely if I realised that it wasn't part of the syllabus, it was only a grace period for me, and that she was busy. Basically, it was toooo long. I e-mailed her and apologised. I know, I have a hard time shoretning things. I guess that goes back to the fact that I am such a detail writer and I love to connect things, I thought that I could not possibly give a good summary in two pages...but I certainly did not realise it was nine whole pages! I thought that I only had four or so, but I was so lost in storming the thing up that I lost track, and so yes, I finally finished the book and that blasted summary. And yet I enjoyed it all. I somehow work well under pressure (maybe this blog is a testament to that...lol, I blog late at night, at the crack of dawn before the next day, or early the next day). To me, a day does not end until I lay my head to sleep. So even thought right now it is technically Wednesday morning, I am counting it as late Tuesday night. My tuesday hasn't ended for me yet. Is that cheating? I don't know.

So yeah...all of this to say is that I had a GREAT read today (sarcastically saying with a bit of truth in it). I acutally did enjoy the story, it was indeed a great read, hard to get through the beginning because the character's thoughts are so jumbled, but it all came together very nicely towards the middle. Maybe I'll actually post my summary here. But...hahaha, who would actually read nine pages of it?!?!!

Well,

Good night ladies and gents,
fellows and friends,


I am peacin' out for tonight.



Your truly,


-Fellow Chocolatier


P.S., I had definitely lost myself in a great ready today! Summary and all! Lost from 9am to 3pm! How about you? What kind of interesting books have you been reading lately? Any you would recommend? I'm a frequent flyer at Barnes and Noble now I hope you know. ;)

P.P.S I downed about 3 - 4 dove chocolates last night in an effort to keep awake, I think it worked, but only for a little while, a very little while. But they were very tasty nonetheless, gave me an excuse for eating more than one a day. Caffeine, why don't you get along with me?

P.P.S, thought you might enjoy this video after this loooooooong blog! (You gotta watch this a few minutes in! So cool!)



***I have a dream to do this one day.*** Care to join me? :)

Dove Chocolate Challenge Day # 35 "Volunteering can change your life!" Sharon / Somerset, NJ

This is true. Volunteering can truly change your life, it has mine. I've been working at Joel's Place for 2 years, going on three, and my first two years at Joel's Place have been as an AmeriCorps volunteer. I just finished my two year term of AmeriCorps in August. If you've never heard of AmeriCorps, it's like the national version of the Peace Corps. It was a good experience, aN invaluable one at that. I have learned so much, and have accomplished things that I probably would never have dreamed of at such a young age. At the age of 19 I was given the opportunity to be the AmeriCorps VISTA Development Director at Joel's Place. A development director at 19? Yeah! It was crazy, but it was definitely challenging and a big growth curve for me. It certainly has been. VISTA stands for Volunteer In Service To America, by the way, just thought I'd let you know what the acronym stood for to not get it confused with any other VISTA.  :)

In the past two years I have chaired committee meetings, gathered groups together to accomplish great things, dabbled in grant writing, fundraising, community partnerships, funding development, database development, and things such as that. But what really has touched my life as the volunteer is the people I had the priveledge of serving. I have been able to glean a lot from the people around me, the volunteers, the leadership, and the kids that come to Joel's Place. It has been amazing, rewarding, and most definitely life changing. I will never be the same.

In short, volunteering can change your life, it truly can. When you lend your hand to offer help to others, it is the most rewarding experience of all. A life of service is worth it. Even if it is you coming in once a week and serving meals, making dinner, cleaning the bathrooms, or just surpervising activites. All of it is useful, helpful, takes a load of off the people leading these efforts everyday, and you just change because you build relationships with amazing people and ultimately you gain new friendships and you become family. And once your family, then you're stuck for life. You have people you can rely on, people that will help you out in times of trouble and be there for you in return. It is truly amazing. I love it.

Well,

Good night ladies and gents,

Peaceful dreams


-Your Fellow Chocolatier


PS, here's a quote I thought I'd leave you with, this is what happens when we get together and work in unity;
**(volunteering)**

The fruits of social relationships are all around us, every bridge, every park, every surgery, every symphony, is the product of human beings who came together to do something greater than any one of them could've done alone. - This Emotional Life, documentary

Dove Chocolate Challenge Day # 34 "Living well and being happy is the best revenge." Tina / Newark, DE

Living well and being happy, is the best revenge...I agree!

 This statement is so simple yet is is nevertheless very powerful. A lot of times as human beings, we want to take revenge for certain unjustices or cirumcstances that have affected / hurt us in a negative way. And there are people behind the circumstances. Things happen, and it just pains our hearts. It's not fun, and notbody wants to get hurt, but the reality of it is that this is life. And stuff happens in life. It's life. You can't avoid it, but you can and do have the power to chose how to react to what and whomever is hurting you. You have the power to change you, to change your thoughts and decisions about something. Because our actions are fruits of our thoughts, and our thoughts are fruits of our motives and feelings. You see, feelings are tricky, you can't always follow your feelings, follow your heart, because it may lead you astray if it's in the wrong place. So the old adage, "follow you heart," is not necessarily true. What if it is in your heart to hurt someone? Are you going to follow through with it because its "on your heart?" I don't think so. And if you do follow through you will soon reap the consequences of your actions. So..the key is to have both our hearts and minds working in unison, not apart and not against each other, but in one harmonious accord. So we must choose this day, you must choose this day, how you will live. I chose to live above my current feelings and frustrations, and I know that by living well and being happy, which includes; forgiveness, letting go, moving on, purusing dreams, dreaming, being alive, and loving, I am really living the best revenge. And revenge is in the fact that I am not actually revenging against anyone, but at the negative thoughts and emotions that come at me or that I may have. And I know that people make mistakes and irrational decisions sometimes, but my focus isn't on those things, my focus is on me, living well, and being happy, because that is the best revenge. That is the best focus for me. And when I'm focuses, I am better equipped to help others rather than when I am out of focus. So me pursing that things that I need to pursue, will inturn enrich others. And it's not a selfish thing either, it reminds me more of this quote; "Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” - Howard Thurman


So yeah, living well and being happy is the best revenge. And I hope that my thoughts connected and made sense. :)


Love you guys,

G'night


-Your Fellow Chocolatier

P.S., my stomach is full, I ate subway about and hour and a 1/2 ago, and I'm full...I am one of those, I can't fall asleep on a full stomach type. Yeah, I know...weird. I've only become this way in the past year. I guess I'm getting old. lol. I just can't scarf down food before bed anymore. Nope, can't do it. And it keeps me up all night and I feel bloated. Ever happen to you? Anyway...I am getting off now. lol. Good night!

Dove Chocolate Challenge Day # 33 "You are never too old to learn something new." Virginia / Pecatonica, IL

So, as you may have noticed, I have not been putting up my daily dove pictures up. I have been procrastinating and I openly admit that. Usually when I blog I blog late at night, right before bed. And when I'm blogging before bed, I'm just trying to jot my thoughts down and the jet to bed, but I am going to try to make an effort to blog a bit earlier than I do now and I am hoping that by doing this, I will not be too tierd to take the pic of the day. That is my plan anyway. :)

Well, today has been interesting, Joel's Place was bustling with life, tons of laughter, tons of jokes, and tons of work. But, it was a good day. I updated quite a few memberships today, infact, I was so busy that I didn't even have time to check my e-mail once. That usually never happens.

.......ANYWAY, I AM BUMMED! You know why? Because I just took around 1/2 hour to blog a pretty good blog, and it has just been erased because the internet shut off, and I didn't have time to save it like I usually do. So all of everything that I've written in the last half an hour has completely vanished. And I am really not in the mood to re-write everything all over again. So, all you see at the top is all that is left in the blog. Sorry guys. I am stinkin' tierd. I guess my lesson for the day is to save things even when I think that I'm safe! Grr...not the lesson I was planning on sharing at all. But, that's that. lol...oh well. I gotta laugh at this. What else can I do? I can't return what was. Oh well! Big bug-hum-bug! OOOOooo! That reminds me! Christmas is right around the corner (just two months!) Yeah! It's my favorite time of the year. I say that we just skip fall, nah, I actually do like fall quite a bit. Well...wa-la! Welcome to my sporadic blog of the day.

Hope you guys have had a better day than I just did now (I'm being dramatic, don't mind me).

But seriously, I hope you have a restful night and many a good dreams! Tis true!


-Your very nonchalant Fellow Chocholatier. (Non-chalant is my I wish I was non-chalant mood right now) :)



Well,

Off I go.

Nighty night!


P.S., take example from me and save your stuff ahead of time! K?! :)

Dove Chocolate Challenge Day # 32 "Give generously and your heart will always be full." Pam / Centennial, CO

So..

I have a thing about food...giving food away specifically. Sharing food.

Sometimes I just don't think I will have enough, I sometimes want to hoard it. I am a broke college student and I have to pay apartment bills, get gas for my jeep, pay car insurance, and then at the end of the month try to afford food with the 80 or so bucks left over from the rest of the month. And let me tell you what, food is not cheap, at least not here in Alaska. Everything is mostly imported, so everything is at a higher price.

So yeah, I somehow have the thought in my brain that I will run out of food. And it doesn't scare me, I guess it's more of an uncomfortable feeling. And...whose to say that we are to be comfortable all the time anyway? Well..anyway...I guess I've never really thought about this or gave it much thought, so it's funny that is so happens to easily float out of my hands onto this blog. Interesting, isn't it? (Rhetorical quesetion towards myself). So yeah...Food. And you know, when I'm at work, at Joel's Place (the youth center that I work at), I just so happen to always want to hide my food, or eat it when none of the kids are around (if I bring something from home or buy it), because then I know that they will want some. And I must admit that I am hesitant to share at times. It's a little selfish side that comes out of me. It's true. But I may wonder if that side comes out of me from the fear of lack of food that's back in the back of my mind. I don't know? That's a though, right? Well...and when we have guests over, sometimes I am hesitant to share food, for the reason that we don't have much food in the first place, so when I share food, I feel like I'm not going to have any left for later and I won't be able to buy it because I won't have any money. Weird but sorta legit fear, I guess you can call it...right? Well...but the thing is that I actually LOVE sharing food! I truly do! And now you're thinking, wait...she just contradicted herself...Yes. It's an oxymoron, I must admitt. I really do love sharing food with the people I love, it's comforting, it creates atmosphere, it's fun, and I wish I could have more food to share. But...for some reason I just have those other thoughts of lack rolling around in the back of my mind. And I don't at all intentionally do that or think that, I don't mean to intentionally hoard food in the back of my mind. But it happens. So, I suppose that I must be truthful about it. I mean, why not? So yeah. But you know what? I know that everything will be alright and that I will be provided for, there isn't a reason in the world to worry. But I do. But there just isn't a reaon! You know why? Because God is my provider and I shall not lack. It's true. I'll tell you a story, in May of 2009, I was putting together a huge youth event, (I along with others), and I was driving around like mad fundraising for the event. So..I was living on my own, Brian and I were not yet married, and I completely ran out of money. Completely. That day my bank account read "0", not negative, not a couple of cents in the bank, nope, just plain old "0," zilch, nada. And I wasn't going to get paid for awhile, the gas in my jeep was the last gas I could afford, and when it ran out, I would have to bum others for rides or try to ride public transportation. So yeah, I was low on food, (very low), low on gas, zero $$ in the bank, and I really had no clue as to what would happen. All I knew was that I had to work my butt off to see that this event pulls through, I had to gather a team of volunteers for the event. So, as we had a meeting for the event that very night, after discussing safety, security, and other things with the volunteers, we had closed the night with a prayer meeting...and after the prayer meetings as I was saying good bye to people, a lady that I have never met before in my life, came up to me and handed me a check for $600.00!!! Yeah! I was amazed! Because within a few days I had bills lined up for me for $400, and I had no clue how I would pay for them, and I had no clue as to how I would buy food and gas...and it turns out that I had $600.00!!! And $200.00 went to whatever I needed, enough to get me food and gas for quite awhile! And as she handed me that check, she said, "God, had laid this on my heart, and he told me to give you this."

...needless to say...I was blown away. And it makes me laugh, because in petty times like this when I worry about having enough food or not...I know that I know that I know that I am provided for. I am God's girl. And he will take care of me. :) Isn't it funny that when I got to my lowest point, had nothing at all, the account was completely empty, and then God took care of me? Isn't that funny how that works? Isn' that just amazing?!! :)

So, I guess right now since things are looking very slim, it goes to say that I need to remind myself that God has my back and that there's no need to worry!

And guess what? Today a friend came over and I shared food! And I was not in the least worried at all! And it was fun! :) Like I said, I love sharing food. I believe it's a strong part of communication and relationship. Food is always shared with family, with friends, on special occasions, hard times, sad times, good times, bad times, on get well moments, on birthdays, on get-to-gethers, and just precious moments that we chose to keep and make as a part of our lives. Food is a part of our daily lives, and it's a priveledge to be able to share it with others. I would almost always prefer to eat with others rather than alone. Wouldn't you? It's just more enjoyable that way. More savouring. To me it is, anyway.

Well...ladies and gents! :)



Off to bed I go!

-Your Fellow Chocolatier! :)


Good night, sleep tight, don't forget to wake up on the right side! (hahaha...I just made that up) ...so yeah... :)

P.S.
I gave today, and my heart was full! I enjoyed sharing with others! In my case it was food.
What's yours? :)

Dove Chocolate Challenge Day # 31 "If in the darkness, lift your eyes to the stars." Tara / Chicago, IL

If in the darkness...life your eyes to the stars.

I resonate with that quote quite a bit. When things are looking grim, look up.

My hubby did something that really irritated me today, and it just irked the heck out of me, so...I went to go get the laundry in the commercial laundry room in our apartment comples, it's two apartment houses over and in the basement. So, I went to the laundry room, and instead of just taking the clothes out of the dryer, which usually takes me about 5 or less minutes of my time...I took longer than that. I was so flustered that I couldn't even take the entire load of laundry out from the dryer (big dryer by the way, I always put two loads at a time to dry). So yeah...I was just huffed and puffed, a little angry but mostly irritated. And there so happens to be a nice sofa-type cushony chair downstairs in the laundry room. So I certainly took the liberty of plopping over on it and just sitting there silently. I'm the type of person that if I'm super stressed out or mad, and somebody is trying to talk to me and they ask me questions, I will just sit there in silence and not answer their questions. By doing so, I am giving myself the time to breathe deeply, concentrating on relaxing and calming down, and by not worrying myself with whatever it is that is going on at the current moment. I've learned to do this and learned that it is crucial for me to go through this process otherwise if I try to engage in conversation directly out of an arguement, I end up exploding on whomever I am speaking with or I end up really getting irritated with them. And when that happens, my heart is just filled with angst and tons of pumping adrenaline...I'm sure my heart rate goes up pretty high as well as my blood pressure which I'm sure is not so good for me. Actuallly, I am positive that it's not. Isn't it funny? Well, not really I suppose. But! Did you know that when you argue, your blood pressure goes up above average? Infact, it shoots up to such an unhealthy point that it's even higher that regular high blood pressure! And that is bad for you!

But anyway..I took the liberty of just sitting there on that cushony plain sofa / chair in the middle of the laundry room, just trying to calm myself and let whatever that just transpired go. Just let the situation go. And maybe, I made too big a deal out of it. When I am upset, I am upset, and the only way I know how to calm down is to mentally block everything out and just focus on breathing deeply, thinking rationally (at least trying), and praying. But that's about it. And most of the time I'm pretty much just stuck on breathing deeply, and then everything gets better from that point on.

So I just took my sweet time in that laundry room, I may have been down there just sitting for about 15-20 minutes. And then I finally calmed myself down, got the courage to fold and stuff the rest of the laundry into the laundry basket, and off upstairs I went heading back to the house. As I walked in, Brian asked if I was mad at him, and guess what? I couldn't answer! My heart was back at the adrenaline pumping stage again, and so again I had to sit in silence for about 3 minutes. But, knowing us, we may have our huffs and puffs, but they don't last long. So we talked it out, both apologized, forgave, and went on with our day. And you know what? It's been good since.

But now of course I am exhausted an am ready to go to bed. Yep.

But basically...my point in telling this story is to make this point; when you're going through a tough time and things seem bleak, don't get carried into the darkness, instead, look up to the stars, and know that there is hope, there is light, and things will get better. I promise. And I'm not trying to disqualify your feelings either, they are legit, and you have the right to feel what you feel, and your feelings are validated. BUT...don't get carried away and don't make the situation worse and dramatic than it really is. (Most of the time a situation is only as dramatic as we make it, unless there is death, seperation, or something serious along those lines). We often make one drama or series of dramas into a huge pile up of dramas, and after residue has been created, it's often times hard to erase. BUT, nevertheless, we don't give up, and this ladies and gents, is when we certainly musn't give up, but we most hold on to hope with dear life, and we must fix our eyes upon the stars, not relying on our own sight, because we can't see, and the present around us looks dark and bleak, but when we look up to the stars, a light is shone and we know that this too, shall pass, and that there WILL be better days ahead.

And guys, don't wallow in the darkness, but let that star that you lift your eyes to be a friend, a family member, or God. However, you must decide to look up at that shining light and not sit and sink deeper into the darkness still.

I often times look to God. And some times I seek the light in my friends, and everytime I do, (seek), I am lifted up, I am brushed off, and I am no longer blind, sitting and being swallowed up in the dark like I used to.

The point is guys; reach out for help, let others help you, put your trust in hope, and your hope in faith. And just keeping going. Keep your eyes fixed on the light.

K guys,

I am peacing out,


Peace,

-Your Fellow Chocolatier.


P.S., is there somebody out there that you need to consciously make the decision about to allow them to be a light in your life?