So..
I have a thing about food...giving food away specifically. Sharing food.
Sometimes I just don't think I will have enough, I sometimes want to hoard it. I am a broke college student and I have to pay apartment bills, get gas for my jeep, pay car insurance, and then at the end of the month try to afford food with the 80 or so bucks left over from the rest of the month. And let me tell you what, food is not cheap, at least not here in Alaska. Everything is mostly imported, so everything is at a higher price.
So yeah, I somehow have the thought in my brain that I will run out of food. And it doesn't scare me, I guess it's more of an uncomfortable feeling. And...whose to say that we are to be comfortable all the time anyway? Well..anyway...I guess I've never really thought about this or gave it much thought, so it's funny that is so happens to easily float out of my hands onto this blog. Interesting, isn't it? (Rhetorical quesetion towards myself). So yeah...Food. And you know, when I'm at work, at Joel's Place (the youth center that I work at), I just so happen to always want to hide my food, or eat it when none of the kids are around (if I bring something from home or buy it), because then I know that they will want some. And I must admit that I am hesitant to share at times. It's a little selfish side that comes out of me. It's true. But I may wonder if that side comes out of me from the fear of lack of food that's back in the back of my mind. I don't know? That's a though, right? Well...and when we have guests over, sometimes I am hesitant to share food, for the reason that we don't have much food in the first place, so when I share food, I feel like I'm not going to have any left for later and I won't be able to buy it because I won't have any money. Weird but sorta legit fear, I guess you can call it...right? Well...but the thing is that I actually LOVE sharing food! I truly do! And now you're thinking, wait...she just contradicted herself...Yes. It's an oxymoron, I must admitt. I really do love sharing food with the people I love, it's comforting, it creates atmosphere, it's fun, and I wish I could have more food to share. But...for some reason I just have those other thoughts of lack rolling around in the back of my mind. And I don't at all intentionally do that or think that, I don't mean to intentionally hoard food in the back of my mind. But it happens. So, I suppose that I must be truthful about it. I mean, why not? So yeah. But you know what? I know that everything will be alright and that I will be provided for, there isn't a reason in the world to worry. But I do. But there just isn't a reaon! You know why? Because God is my provider and I shall not lack. It's true. I'll tell you a story, in May of 2009, I was putting together a huge youth event, (I along with others), and I was driving around like mad fundraising for the event. So..I was living on my own, Brian and I were not yet married, and I completely ran out of money. Completely. That day my bank account read "0", not negative, not a couple of cents in the bank, nope, just plain old "0," zilch, nada. And I wasn't going to get paid for awhile, the gas in my jeep was the last gas I could afford, and when it ran out, I would have to bum others for rides or try to ride public transportation. So yeah, I was low on food, (very low), low on gas, zero $$ in the bank, and I really had no clue as to what would happen. All I knew was that I had to work my butt off to see that this event pulls through, I had to gather a team of volunteers for the event. So, as we had a meeting for the event that very night, after discussing safety, security, and other things with the volunteers, we had closed the night with a prayer meeting...and after the prayer meetings as I was saying good bye to people, a lady that I have never met before in my life, came up to me and handed me a check for $600.00!!! Yeah! I was amazed! Because within a few days I had bills lined up for me for $400, and I had no clue how I would pay for them, and I had no clue as to how I would buy food and gas...and it turns out that I had $600.00!!! And $200.00 went to whatever I needed, enough to get me food and gas for quite awhile! And as she handed me that check, she said, "God, had laid this on my heart, and he told me to give you this."
...needless to say...I was blown away. And it makes me laugh, because in petty times like this when I worry about having enough food or not...I know that I know that I know that I am provided for. I am God's girl. And he will take care of me. :) Isn't it funny that when I got to my lowest point, had nothing at all, the account was completely empty, and then God took care of me? Isn't that funny how that works? Isn' that just amazing?!! :)
So, I guess right now since things are looking very slim, it goes to say that I need to remind myself that God has my back and that there's no need to worry!
And guess what? Today a friend came over and I shared food! And I was not in the least worried at all! And it was fun! :) Like I said, I love sharing food. I believe it's a strong part of communication and relationship. Food is always shared with family, with friends, on special occasions, hard times, sad times, good times, bad times, on get well moments, on birthdays, on get-to-gethers, and just precious moments that we chose to keep and make as a part of our lives. Food is a part of our daily lives, and it's a priveledge to be able to share it with others. I would almost always prefer to eat with others rather than alone. Wouldn't you? It's just more enjoyable that way. More savouring. To me it is, anyway.
Well...ladies and gents! :)
Off to bed I go!
-Your Fellow Chocolatier! :)
Good night, sleep tight, don't forget to wake up on the right side! (hahaha...I just made that up) ...so yeah... :)
P.S.
I gave today, and my heart was full! I enjoyed sharing with others! In my case it was food.
What's yours? :)
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