Hey guys!
Hope you guys have been having a great day!
I don't really know what I did today except work and the usual. Went to work, payed my daily visit to Barnes and Noble (best place to do homework, in my opinion anyway, it is very peaceful and there are no distracting responsibilites waiting to be attended to, i.e; laundry, dishes, phone calls, and so on) and read through the assigned reading of the Kreutzer Sonata. It is quite interesting. It takes me awhile to read things through in the class because I have to disect things bit by bit and I'm a slow reader. Well..today was just a normal day.
But was it? ...Was it really normal? I think it was better than normal and was absolutely one of my favorite days in awhile, I think it was because of a great revelation that I had. :)
You see, after I was done working at the front desk and Tayler had come in to take over for the next shift, I took Brian to class (we share one car right now) and on my way to do homework at Barnes and Noble, I had realized that I had forgotten my reading material at work. So, I rushed back to work. When I got there, I just fell in love with the atmosphere of Joel's Place (youth center) all over again. It is so alive there. Joel's Place has become my family, the kids at Joel's Place and the staff and leadership. I just love being there. It doesn't feel like work most of the time (haha...but trust me, there are moments...). I just feel like I get to be in the presence of wonderful people, and even though I know that these kids are growing up, graduating high school, leaving for college or whatever they are doing, that event though this moment that I am in is only temperary I am still in the presence of wonderful people, and really, all that matters is that in this moment, we are able to share life together. As you can tell, I am not a fan of change, but as the saying goes "change is the only constant in life." And I just think, what an oxymoron! Yet it is truth. Sometimes, I'm not a fan of the truth either, but I need to accept it. :)
When I came to grab my homework at Joel's Place, I originally planned to make it snappy by just zipping in to grab my homework and zipping out..but needless to say, that did not happen. I ended up staying at Joel's Place for a little more than half an hour. Joel's Place serves dinner at 6pm-8pm everyday (we're back on our fall schedule so dinner is back up at six again). And I came back right in time for dinner. I actually ate dinner before I left to drop Brian off, but when I came back I had already worked up an appetite so I grabbed a bunch of snacks thinking that I would jet as soon as I grabbed them, and that's how I got stuck.
I simply could not leave, it was just so much fun! Most of the kids were sitting in the cafe, eating dinner, picking out a movie to watch, and were just chatting it up. Conversation were happening all over the place. And then our conversations collided into one huge one as we were pranking each other and joking with each other. It was just so light hearted an fun, and I loved the diversity of each single kid and the unity that we all had today. Joel's Place is a really special place, young people from all over town, all walks of life, different beliefs, different likes and dislikes, are just able to gather together and unite. I really love the diversity and the unity coexhisting together the way that it does there. I've been working at Joel's Place for 2 years, going on 3, and I am just amazed at the relationships that I've had the honor and priviledge to develop with everyone around me. I feel blessed. This reminds me of the Fairbanks Fair this August, every year Joel's Place sets up a booth at the Fairbanks Fair and is available to the community to answer questions and just be there for the kids. As I sat in at the fair, I hadn't realized how much of the community I actual know, and how many people I know by name. You don't realize how many people pass through the door of one youth center until you have a community gathering like that. I realize that I have gotten to know quite a few people over these past 2 1/2 years. And not just as aquaintences, but people that I've had many fond conversations with, friends, that have not become my family. Although I haven't seen a few of them in awhile, it was refreshing to see them at the Fair this year. One thing you gotta know is that people hibernate in Alaska all winter long, especially in Fairbanks. Fairbanks is known as the most extreme city in the world temperature wise. We can hit up to the high 80s even 90s in the Summer, and drop to as low as -40,-50, and -60, in the Winters. Now that, dear ladies and gents, is what I call extreme weather. (We have to endure a 100* degree temperature change! How crazy is that?!?). The Summers mostly stay around a high of 75* and the winters usually stay a steady stream of -30 ...but still...that is just crazy how much of a change that really is now that I come to think of it. Wow. lol. So yeah, back to my point, us Fairbanksans hibernate for so long of the year, since winter goes for 6 months straight, that once summer hits, there is not a single soul found in doors. (Joel's Place is suuuuper slow in the summer, all the kids are outside chillen). Fairbanks is hopin' in the summer, there are a plethora of outdoorsy adventures that are held each summer. It's quite fun actually, so by the time the fair rolls around (which symbolizes that summer is ending very soon and fall is right around the corner, fall = snow). everybody and their mom comes out to the fair. And this is the last time you'll see the community gather as a whole. So we like to say that it is our last chance to see everybody before the hit the hibernation period. :)
Well, it was just absolutely heartwarming for me to work at the Joel's Place booth at the fair, because for the first time, I really realized the impact that Joel's Place has on the Fairbanks community, and I realized that I have made more friends, more family, had experienced more precious moments, had impacted more people than I thought, and have had more people influence and impact me than I could have ever dreamed or imagined. I knew that I was loved, and it makes my heart happy because I know that I loved back. The moment this realization happened is when kids from all over the community would stop by and hang out with us at the Joel's Place booth, when kids would be walking by, and then suddenly scream my name and run to give me a great big bear hug, when the same kids would come back and later ask for me when my shift was over. (That happened today by the way, when I came back to Joel's Place to grab my homework, my supervisor Emma, had told me that a couplf of the kids saw me leaving in my jeep and said, "where's she going?" And upon reply that I was done for the day, they replied with a big, "aww man." And that had made my day too!). But yeah, seeing the young people and their parents drop by the booth, address me by name (I thought many of them had forgot about me long ago, but I guess they didn't, how cool is that?) and having their parents let us know how much impact Joel's Place has had in their families and that they hold us in a high place in their hearts has made me really thankful, more than thankful, for every opportunity that I have had so far. And really, it is not me who has had the influence on them, but they on me.
So, as I was sitting in the cafe today, laughing with all of the regulars, I really just wanted to stay and hang out, eat with them, talk with them, and watch the movie with them. In the whole entire world, I just wanted to be with them, at that moment. And as all moments have to end, and each kid has to grow up, I know that each kid will always have a place in my heart. I feel like a mom now, lol, even though I don't have any kids of my own. I am proud of all of them, I know that they have endured through a lot these over the years, and I am thankful to have them in my life.
So, I just had one of those, "I'll never forget this moment, moments today." And then I had to leave Joel's Place and go to Barnes and Noble to do my homework. I did think about staying and doing my homework at the Joel's Place cafe, but I knew I wouldn't get anything done if I would have done that.
Well, that was the bulk of my blog. I am an optimist, sometimes though, I fall down hard, get depressed, and need others to be the optimist for me and to me, but today, I was an optimist, and I guess my dream is to see every kid in that room today succeed in life, graduate high school, find a good job, be well fed, be safe, become a volunteer in their community, stay out of jail, stay out of drugs, and live a fulfilling and meaningful life. And most importantly, I want them to live. I know some deal with suicide, and my thing is that I don't care how messed up you are, as long as you're alive, I'm okay. We can fix being messed up, but we can't fix dead. And my passion and desire is too see these kids remain alive, truly live, and be awakened to the world, to love, to compassion, to healthy relationships, and to be themselves.
Well,
I better get to bed,
And I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings, I can't wait for tomorrow's laughs, conversations, joys, silliness, sorrows, hardships, stresses, success, and mystery.
Tomorrow is full of possiblities, don't you think?
I'm peacin' out now,
Good night guys,
-Your Fellow Chocolatier
P.S., Are you looking forward to tomorrow? I am learning to live in the moment, because yesterday has gone, but tomorrow has not yet come, but I am learning to be excited about the prospect of tomorrow. I love the unknown and the adventure that comes with it. But I am certainly learning to just live for today. Cause that's all I have. :)
P.S., here is a video of Joel's Place, enjoy! (Man, I wish I had a Joel's Place when I was a kid!) :)
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