This my dears, is a very interesting statement. Particulary today. :) Funnny how that works, isn't it?
Well...today was day # 2 of staying home sick. I felt worse in the morning, but got a lot better towards the late afternoon. Well..today...I wasn't doing laundry all day, like yesterday, but what I was doing was decluttering the house.
Hoarders. Have you ever watched the show hoarders? "Barried Alive." Is the slogan. Basically I felt like watching a movie on netflix (yes, we have netflix, it's pretty convenient for college life, cheap entertainment). :) Well, as I was picking a movie to watch, Hoarders grabbed my attention. I've watched this show a couple of times on t.v., but never really attentively. Not like I did today. I basically almost watched the entire first season. It's true. :) I was addicted.
The definition of hoarding defined on the show, "compulsive hoarding is a mental disorder marked by an obsessive need to acquire and keep things, even if the items are worthless, hazardous or unsanitary."
If you've never seen this show, I recommend that you watch. Everybody needs to watch this show at least once. It's a mind blower and an eye opener. When my husband came home from school he asked why I was watching the show, and I told him that I am interested in the psychological aspect of it. I'm very interested in the cognitive behavior. It's true. It intrigues me.
So, as I was watching the show today, I was taking notes because I saw myself and my own hoaring habbits a little bit in ever episode. Every advice given by the clinical psychologist even pertained some what to me. It's just good advice in general. So, it was interesting. And off course, after watching these shows I am compelled to clean like no other and like never before. I feel pretty accomplished of all that I have done today. I got rid of things I've been keeping around as habbits, realizing that they aren't very healthy habbits at all. Nope. You see, hoarding runs in my family, and it's not very good, nor a healthy inbit to live in. So today was like after shock, because I realize that I hoard quite a bit. And you know, you never realize that you really hoard because you sorta get immune to the mess around you, and you learn to manuver your way around it, and so then your mind says, "well, okay, that's okay, it's not THAT bad." And then before you know it, "not that bad," get to a little, "well, at least your not like THOSE people," and then not like those people gets to "okay, maybe it is a LITTLE messy in here, but I just can't give my stuff up." And before you know it...all of that's left is a huge aftermath of a tornado, you don't know how it got there or how to begin to unravel the remains and rubbel. You're sinking in piles of stuff, just drowning it it. And it's sad. It's sad to watch these shows. But these habbits are so real. And so pain staken. Hoarding becomes a replacement for reality. A lot of people that hoard have some kind of insecurity, fear, or are suffering from some kind of form of depression, compulsion or hurt. Hoarding is mentally and emotionally attaching, and when you clean you get mentally exhausted, not only physically.
Overcoming hoarding is an uphill battle. The process is difficult and time consuming. And a lot of people don't make it out, it just becomes too much, and people just give up. Most people's reaction when they see a hoarder's environment is to say, "well, just get rid of it, throw it all away, give stuff away, and man, I wish I had a match, cause it's be gone in an instant." ...But not so in the hoarder's point of view. Every item that a hoarder has is attached to a memory, or it defines who they are, and hoarders feel that without their stuff, they are nothing and that they have nothing. It is sad. It really is a compulsion, its' confusion. And rational thoughts are not connected oft times. Lots of people, such as friends and family members think, "Hey, when they go shopping, or on vacation, I'm going to secretly clean their house for them, and they will be so happy, they will thank me for it later." ....Well I've got news for you guys...not so. Infact, you if you try to attempt cleaning the hoarder's stuff for them, you will only make things worse, and it will only be a matter of time, say a month or two, before all of the stuff gets piled on high back to where it was or worse than what it was. You see, you only changed their house, but you didn't help change their behavior. The key in getting a hoarder to stop hoarding is to have the hoarder change their thought process, and only from then on will things get better. And the key is patience, de-cluttering has to go at the hoarder's comfort level, and speed. If you intervene or try to speed the decluttering process, the hoarder may become overwhelmed and give up altogether. It may be a slow trial at first, but keep pressing in and encouraging them, and stand by them. It will be frustrating from the side, but you will really help them. Let them make the choice of what goes and what stays. And if they don't want to give something up, and it's really trevial and should be thrown away, gently point out and ask question such as what will the end result look like if you throw it away? Does this help you in the long run or not? Will you actually make a garage sale? Have you? (If they answer no, then, they probably never will). Intent is a hoader's excuse, but at the same time, intent is he leigh way to keep the item. So gently point out and aske question, get them to process their thoughts so they can go from point a to point b and connect them together. Conectivity is key.
Anyway, many people suffer from hoarding. Fact: as many as 3 to 6 million people suffer from compulsive hoarding.
Well...anyway...that was my big wow of the day. I really connected with the show, and that's because I have some ugly well hidden hoarding habbits of my own. And I am encouarged and fully motivated to get junk out of my life. Literally.
All things work together in the tapestry of life, it's true, every thought process, every item, every memory, they all built and are woven into the tapestry of life, whether it be for the good or for the bad. Lets hope for the first.
That's how my dear, that's how I connected my quote today to my life; hoarding.
Well,
Off I go,
Nighty nighty,
Fellow Chocolatier
P.S., did you know that there are Certified Professional Organizers?
P.P.S, here's a snippet of the show, "Hoarding, Buried Alive."
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