So along with my daily blogs, I'm going to post daily pics with the wrapper of the day in the pics.
YAWN! Big stretch.
I am stinkin tired. Golly! :) No, for real I am T.I.R.E.D. Stayed up till around 5:30/6:00 AM. So it's only 9:47pm Alaska time and I'm about to fall over. And it's still light outside. The days are getting shorter, the darkness is setting in, and soon...maybe just in a couple of weeks, we'll see manna from the sky, called snowwww. And then it will begin...Six.Whole.Months.Of.Winter. (whisper) Brace yourselves.
Today's quote "Live every day up to your expectations, not others," really hit me like a ton of bricks. Not that I've never had this revelation before, just today, it became more real. And okay. ..Lately...I've been a little harsh on myself, I've been judging myself. You know? Just comparing me to everything and everyone else and their mom. This is not a very productive way to live. Trust me. So...facebook is a bad culprit. I'm sure this crosses everyone's mind at some point, and if not, it certainly does mine. I'll sit there once in awhile and stare at the screen (like..once a day). I'll be looking at some long distant friend's pictures. Or secretly snooping on photos of friends of friends. (Let me tell you what, what a waste of time that is!). And it's funny, cause if somebody's like what are you doing? You click out of the photos cause you don't want others to know you've been looking at THAT person's photos, whom you barely know. But anyway...I've been looking at photos, and sometimes, I just compare myself, I wish I looked like that, or man, I wish that happened to me, or man...they're just so much...I don't know BETTER, I guess is the word, they're so much better with this, at this, with that or whatever. You fill in the blanks. And so there ya go. I just ...JUDGE myself. I just COMPARE myself. It sucks. Cause that's definitely NOT a self-esteem booster. At all. Period.
And you know...I'm the type of person that has many talents, or is good at a lot of things (surface wise) but I'm not good at any one particular thing. Like I can play some piano, sing some, draw some, paint some, write some, figure skate some, and whatever else just add a some at the end of it. It's surface. I may be good at those things on practical levels, but I'm not a pro at any of them. I don't have that niche. I'm what you would read in your high school year books as the "all around student." And so...then I start comparing. Again. And I kinda just disect myself bit by bit, piece by piece. It's kinda, de-humanizing. So. Not. Cool. But, it happens. And, it's what I do. And sometimes not willingly. I do what I don't want to do. I feel kinda lost sometimes. And kinda jealous/envious. Of WHAT? You may ask. Well, no one in particular, but of life I guess. Kinda...upset.
And today, when I was walking on campus and saw all of these beautiful college peoples, I felt like a whimp. I just felt small. Literally. Haha...you wouldn't believe how many times the youth would ask me at the youth center I work at how long I've been going there, or what grade I am in. "I'm 21, and I work here," I would say. "Whhhhaat? No way! I thought you were like 15! " - Said the 16 year old boy who was about to ask me out. Yep. True Story. Haha...yeah, his day was dissappointed. For sure. But yeah, today, I just felt small. Nothing special about me. (Don't worry, I'm not looking for a pity party..at all). So no worries there. I'm just blogging out my frustrations so to speak. Hah...
But...then, I read the quote of the day, and I wasn't really aware of all of the feelings and thoughts floating around in my head until it hit me like a ton of bricks...I am comparing myself. And I JUST. NEED. TO. STOP. Because...I'm not supposed to live up to eveyone else's expectations. I shouldn't be caring about what others think. I just plain shouldn't. But I do. I subconsciously do. It's not like I try to, or like I specifically conjour up myself to compare myself everyday. But it happens! So then now what? I just need to remind myself, that hey, I am me, and nobody else can be. That's that. And that's fact. I am uniquely crafted, I am uniquely made, I am uniquely brought up, I am uniquely living in the way that nobody else is living. I am me. I have my unique view of the world, nobody else can see through my eyes and through my soul, cause it's mine. Except God. And nobody else has the sorrows, regrets, joys, mistakes, and experiences that I've had. They are uniquely my own. And yours are uniquely your own! You are you and nobody else can be you and nobody else can have YOUR responsibilites, abilities, your experiences, your laughs, your dreams, your passions, and your heart beat for the world. So yeah, I am me. I like me. And you know what? I do think I'm pretty special (not in a cocky way mind you). I AM ME.
I am me. And nobody else can compare to me. Because I am me.
Created for a divine purpose. As are you.
SO..
Just live your life.
Now get off this blog and go live your life!
Love you guys!
-Peace and chicken grease,
Yours for this side of the life,
-Fellow Chocolatier
"Live every day up to your expectations, not others." Reena / Bretwood, TX
I expect me to be me. I hope you expect you to be you. =P
Check this video out if you have some time, super uplifting.
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